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He
couldn’t keep his eyes off other guys
William D. Hicks
We
met at Caribou Coffee—in the gay ‘hood. My first time
there—what better place for an infrequent first date then someplace
I’d never been. Of course I should have known how it would
turn out. I hated coffee—loathed the sweet aromatic scent of
the brew—even compared the acidic stench to skunk juice. But
it was better than trying to carry on a conversation in a smoke-filled
bar where I could hardly hear a word.
Arriving
five minutes early, I noticed that 99% of the people coming and
going were men. Gay men from what I could tell. Competition. No,
I told myself. Some guys felt more comfortable discussing their
life without the fear of eavesdropping or judgmental stares. Joe
might even hold my hand—first date stuff. My romantic idealism
was usurping my cynical nature.
My
rational mind blurred more when Joe arrived and I saw his sexy blues
eyes in the street-lamps. As we entered the bustling place, Joe
scanned the room—almost casing the joint. He smiled at a few
cute guys and waved at someone. Friends. Popularity wasn’t
a crime.
We
located a table in the back of the coffee shop. The last one. Joe
acted like a gentleman and walked up to the order-counter. Again,
he scanned the place. Maybe he was just nervous, like I was. Of
course now I had to use the bathroom—first date bladder. Never
failed.
Joe
set the libations on the table. His cinnamon coffee mingled with
the scent of my hot cocoa. What an odor! Chocolate cinnamon skunk
juice. Instead of wrinkling my nose in distaste—I leapt into
conversation. Joe kept glancing around—distractedly. I was
trying to tell him important things—find out important things—but
he wasn’t listening.
“Hey,”
Joe said, interrupting me, “I know that guy over there.”
He waved at a cute guy sitting all alone in the corner. The guy
smiled back. “Let me just say hello and I’ll be right
back.”
“Sure,”
I replied. “I’m got to hit the little boy’s room
anyhow.”
Moments
later when I came out, I saw Joe quickly stuff a napkin in his back
pocket. Phone number exchange, my mind told me. I knew it. That’s
why he had been distracted all night—kid in a candy store syndrome.
So Many Men So Little Time played in my head. I quickly ended
this atrocity of a date. Joe never suggested a second date. Thank
god.
Afterwards,
I discussed this date with my friend Jim.
“It’s
been so long since I had a date, and Joe was so handsome.”
“Too
bad he couldn’t keep his eyes in their sockets,” Jim replied.
“So
how do I meet someone who has similar interests and is a decent
guy?” I asked. “Don’t suggest chat rooms. Been there.
Done that. I got tired of telling guys I didn’t want a one-night-stand
even though it was in my profile. Plus I hated telling virtual-strangers
the intimate details of my life.”
“You
could try online dating sites,” Jim said. “You can see
a picture and find out more about them before you go out. Like whether
they want to date seriously or play the field.”
“Any
suggestions?”
“I’ve
had great luck with Match.com
. I’ve
met some great guys.”
What
can I say? It works.
He
couldn’t keep his eyes off other guys by William D. Hicks
© Match.com
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